Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
