booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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