Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
