He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
