bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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