Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
