He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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