I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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