woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
