Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
