you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
