I cockslap morals
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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