Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
