This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
