After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
