it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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