is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
