he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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