Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
