At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
