You're so nebulous sometimes
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
