We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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