listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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