she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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