Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
