people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
