Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
