you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
