$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
