Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
