The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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