Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
