So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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