Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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