Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
