he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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