I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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