Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
