i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
