dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's blow job season.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
