So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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