i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
