I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
