Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
