8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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