this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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