I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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