is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
