on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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