so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
